In the beginning, God created man, but seeing him so feeble, He gave him the cat.
- Warren Eckstein

A home without a cat- and a well-fed, well-petted and properly revered cat- may be a perfect home, perhaps, but how can it prove title?
- Pudd'nhead Wilson

If animals could speak the dog would be a a blundering outspoken fellow, but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much.
- Mark Twain

Dogs believe every stranger is a friend they haven't met yet.
Cats wait for a proper invitation.
-Vicki Brown

A cat is more intelligent than people believe, and can be taught any crime.
- Mark Twain Notebook, 1895

I simply can't resist a cat, particularly a purring one. They are the cleanest, cunningest, and most intelligent things I know, outside of the girl you love, of course.
- Abroad with Mark Twain and Eugene Field, Fisher

Of all God's creatures there is only one that cannot be made the slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat.
- Mark Twain Notebook, 1894

You can keep a dog; but it is the cat who keeps people, because cats find humans useful domestic animals.
- George Mikes from How to be decadent

Dogs come when they're called. Cats take a message and get back to you.
- Mary Bly

Cats are independent, by which I mean smart.
- Dave Barry.

For a man to truly understand rejection, he must first be ignored by a cat.
- Anon

I love cats because I love my home and after a while they become its visible soul.
- Jean Cocteau

There are few things in life more heartwarming than to be welcomed by a cat.
- Tay Hohoff

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.
- Jeff Valdez

Way down deep, we're all motivated by the same urges. Cats have the courage to live by them.
- Jim Davis

There is, incidentally, no way of talking about cats that enables one to come off as a sane person.
- Dan Greenberg

The smallest feline is a masterpiece.
- Leonardo da Vinci

In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats.
- English Proverb

Beware of people who dislike cats.
- Irish Proverb

You will always be lucky if you know how to make friends with strange cats.
- Colonial American Proverb

With the qualities of cleanliness, affection, patience, dignity, and courage that cats have, how many of us, I ask you, would be capable of becoming cats?
- Fernand Mery

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.
- Winston Churchill

I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior.
- Hippolyte Taine

A meow massages the heart.
- Stuart McMillan

No matter how much cats fight, there always seems to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln

Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God.
- Unknown

Time spent with cats is never wasted.
- Unknown

A cat is a dilettante in fur.
- Theophile Gautier 1811 -1872.

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
- Hal Holbrook

No heaven will not ever be Heaven be; Unless my cats are there to welcome me.
- Unknown

How we behave toward cats here below determines our status in heaven.
- Robert A. Heinlein

The cat was created when the lion sneezed.
- Arab Myth

The great open spaces where cats are cats.
- Marquis

Dogs have owners, cats have staff.
- Unknown

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.
- Anonymous

There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats.
- Anonymous

No amount of time can erase the memory of a good cat, and no amount of masking tape can ever totally remove his fur from your couch.
- Leo Dworken

One cat just leads to another.
- Ernest Hemingway

The cat has too much spirit to have no heart.
- Ernest Menaul

As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat.
- Ellen Perry Berkeley

People who hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life.
- Faith Resnick

One reason we admire cats is for their proficiency in one-upmanship. They always seem to come out on top, no matter what they are doing, or pretend they do.
- Barbara Webster

I have noticed that what cats most appreciate in a human being is not the ability to produce food which they take for granted-but his or her entertainment value.
- Geoffrey Household

As anyone who has ever been around a cat for any length of time well knows cats have enormous patience with the limitations of the human kind.
- Cleveland Amory

Confront a child, a puppy, and a kitten with a sudden danger; the child will turn instinctively for assistance, the puppy will grovel in abject submission. The kitten will brace its tiny body for a frantic resistance.
- Saki

...The only identification that would be inscribed on any cat's collar would be 'This is the cat's cat.'
- Elmer Davis

If stretching were wealth, the cat would be rich.
- African Proverb

To bathe a cat takes brute force, perseverance, courage of conviction-and a cat. The last ingredient is usually the hardest to come by.
- Stephen Baker

Cats like doors left open, in case they change their minds.
- Rosemary Nisbet

Cats, like butterflies, need no excuse.
- Heinlein

The trouble with sharing one's bed with cats is that they'd rather sleep on you than beside you.
- Pam Brown

The smallest feline is a masterpiece.
- Leonardo Da Vinci

Cats are connoisseurs of comfort.
- James Herriott

Cats pride themselves on their ability to do nothing.
- John R.F. Breen

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a cat.
- Franklin P. Jones

Every dog has his day
- but the nights are reserved for the cats.
- Unknown

Cats don't like change without their consent.
- Roger A. Caras

Dogs eat. Cats dine.
- Ann Taylor

A cat allows you to sleep on the bed. On the edge.
- Jenny De Vries

Any cat that misses a mouse pretends it was aiming for the dead leaf.
- Charlotte Gray

Of all animals, he alone attains to the Contemplative Life.
- Andrew Lang

Cats are kindly masters, just so long as you remember your place.
- Paul Gray

You cannot look at a sleeping cat and feel tense.
- Jane Pauley

We cannot without becoming cats, perfectly understand the cat mind.
- St. George Mivart

The mathematical probability of a common cat doing exactly as it pleases is the one scientific absolute in the world.
- Lynn M. Osband

To err is human, to purr is feline.
- Robert Byrne

Cats come and go without ever leaving.
- Martha Curtis

All cats are republicans. They hate change. Except Siamese, of course. Siamese are Hobbesian monarchists.
- Emilie Glover

Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made the slave of the lash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with a cat it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat.
- Mark Twain

Any member introducing a dog into the Society's premises shall be liable to a fine of one pound. Any animal leading a blind person shall be deemed to be a cat.
- Rule 46, Oxford Union Society, London

In my house lives a cat who is a curmudgeon and cantankerous, a cat who is charming and convivial, and a cat who is combative and commendable. And yet I have but one cat.
- Dave Edwards

Cats are absolute individuals, with their own ideas about everything, including the people they own.
- John Dingman

A cat's worst enemy is a closed door.
- Unknown

What greater gift than the love of a cat?
- Charles Dickens

People that don't like cats haven't met the right one yet.
- Deborah A. Edwards, D.V.M.

Like a graceful vase, a cat, even when motionless, seems to flow.
- George F. Will

The more people I meet, the more I like my cat.
- Unknown

A loving cat can mend a wounded heart.
- Anonymous

I love cats because I enjoy my home; and little by little, they become its visible soul.
- Jean Cocteau, French poet and filmmaker

When you invite a kitten into your home, you bring indoors something slightly wild, often unpredictable and always entertaining.
- Barbara L. Diamond

Never feed your cat anything that doesn't match the color of your carpet.
- Unknown

The really great thing about cats is their endless variety. One can pick a cat to fit almost any kind of decor, color, scheme, income, personality, mood. But under the fur, whatever the colour it may be, there still lies, essentially unchanged, one of the world's free souls.
- Eric Gurney

Purring would seem to be, in her case, an automatic safety valve device for dealing with happiness overflow.
- Monica Edwards

When I play with my cat, who knows if I am not a pastime to her more than she to me?
- Montaigne,16th century French essayist

Cats are notoriously sore losers. Coming in second best, especially to someone as poorly coordinated as a human being, grates their sensibility.
- Stephen Baker

The cat could very well be man's best friend, but he would never stoop to admit it.
- Doug Larson

You can keep a dog; but it is the cat who keeps people, because cats find humans useful domestic animals.
- George Mikes

Cats are dangerous companions for writers because cat watching is a near-perfect method of writing avoidance.
- Dan Greenburg

A cat's got her own opinion of human beings. She don't say much, but you can tell enough to make you anxious not to hear the whole of it.
- Jerome K. Jerome

When my cats aren't happy, I'm not happy. Not because I care about their mood but because I know they're just sitting there thinking up ways to get even.
- Penny Ward Moser

Managing senior programmers is like herding cats.
- Dave Platt

Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer.
- Bruce Graham

There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.
- Unknown

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.
- Anonymous

As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat.
- Ellen Perry Berkeley

Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.
- Joseph Wood Krutch

There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats.
- Anonymous

I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior.
- Hippolyte Taine

No heaven will not ever Heaven be; Unless my cats are there to welcome me.
- Unknown

There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats.
- Albert Schweitzer

With the qualities of cleanliness, discretion, affection, dignity, and courage that cats have, how many of us, I ask you, would be capable of being cats?
- Fernand Mery

The cat has too much spirit to have no heart.
- Ernest Menaul

Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God.
- Unknown

Time spent with cats is never wasted.
- Colette

Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well.
- Missy Dizick

You will always be lucky if you know how to make friends with strange cats.
- Colonial American proverb

Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want.
- Joseph Wood Krutch

Dogs have owners, cats have staff
- Unknown

If cats could talk, they wouldn't
- Nan Porter

A kitten is chiefly remarkable for rushing about like mad at nothing whatever, and generally stopping before it gets there
- Agnes Repplier

Cats are absolute individuals, with their own ideas about everything, including the people they own
- John Dingman

No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln

Even if you have just destroyed a Ming Vase, purr. Usually all will be forgiven.
- Lenny Rubenstein

A cat can purr its way out of anything
- Donna McCrohan

I called my cat William because no shorter name fits the dignity of his character. Poor old man, he has fits now, so I call him fitz-William
- Josh Billings

"I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worth while?"
Death thought about it. "Cats," he said eventually, "Cats are Nice."
-- Terry Pratchett, Sourcery

Kittens can happen to anyone.
- Paul Gallico

If it's not tied down, it's a cat toy.
- Unknown

It is in the nature of cats to do a certain amount of unescorted roaming.
- Adlai Stevenson

Purranoia.....the fear that your cat is up to something.
- Unknown

Into every life a little cat hair must fall.
- Unknown

No outfit is complete without a few cat hairs.
- Unknown

Hairballs happen.
- Unknown

The cat is the only animal without visible means of support who still manages to find a living in the city.
- Carl Van Vechten

A kitten is more amusing than half the people one is obliged to live with.
- Lady Sydney Morgan

A cat sleeps fat, yet walks thin.
- Fred Schwab

Even overweight cats instinctively know the cardinal rule: when fat, arrange yourself in slim poses.
- John Weitz

Those who'll play with cats must expect to get scratched.
- Miguel de Cervantes in Don Quixote de la Mancha

Everything that moves serves to interest and amuse a cat. He is convinced that nature is busying herself with his diversion; he can conceive of no other purpose in the universe.
- F.A. Paradis de Moncrif

The only mystery about the cat is why it ever decided to become a domesticated animal.
- Sir Compton MacKenzie

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.
- Garrison Keillor

No tame animal has lost less of its native dignity or maintained more of its ancient reserve. The domestic cat might rebel tomorrow. -- William Conway

Even the stupidest cat seems to know more than any dog
- Eleanor Clark

Two cats can live as cheaply as one, and their owner has twice as much fun
- Lloyd Alexander

The last thing I would accuse a cat of is innocence.
- Edward Paley

Cats aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit.
- Unknown

Cats are magical...the more you pet them the longer you both live. -- Anonymous

If a fish is the movement of water embodied, given shape, then cat is a diagram and pattern of subtle air. -- Doris Lessing

Pure herring oil is the port wine of English cats
- Honore de Blazac

I'm quite happily enslaved to the cuddly loyalty and high intelligence of cats. After all, they can purr and dogs can't.
- Diana Fineran, secretary/founder of the Traditional Cat Association

What fun to be a cat!
- Christopher Morley